I did it!

In early September, Ken and I started a Couch to 5K program. We have an app on our ipods that tells us when to start running and when to walk. The program started us out with a 5 minute warm up and then run for 60 seconds and walk for 90 seconds repeated several times followed by a 5 minute cool down. I felt pretty good on the first run. The second one was hard. That was so long ago.

I ran the last workout in the series tonight! The program was 9 weeks long with 3 workouts a week. This last week I was running 30 minutes with no walking or stopping. I feel really good.

I have never been a runner. I hated it in school. I always assumed any running I would do as an adult would involve getting away from a bad guy. I have always loved the idea of being a runner though. I would like to casually mention in conversation: "_____ on my run", or "I gotta go for my run now." etc. I was mystified by the runners high that I had never (ever) felt. I think maybe I have felt a little of that now.

Things I learned:

Never put more than two days between your runs. Preferably only one day.

The first mile is the hardest.

You CAN do it.

Sometimes you will hate to run.

EVERY TIME you will feel great after.

You can tone your torso by running.

Next time I do a program like this I will not do it while nursing and getting up at night with a baby.

Runs are easier with some food in your belly (preferably carbs)

If you run at night, like I do, eat something before bed or awake ready to eat an elephant.

Latest Family Picture

I am posting this from my iPod, hopefully this looks ok. Last family picture Sara wasn't born. We need to take pictures more often :)

I love watching fun things on the internet:

I might like this cheese :)

I also think I may know a few women like the one in the video. Why do we try to one-up each other all the time???

Frugal lifestyle... Multi-Post Day

Many of you know that times are tight at our house. We have never had to cut so many corners and we are working on a plan to ease our budget. After much sincere prayer we have been making changes slow but sure.

When things were first difficult, after Ken started his new new job we felt sure things would work out fine. We were paying our tithing and we were certain the Lord would provide. After all, HE told us to take the job with the awesome benefits and the less than awesome pay. I prayed that we would make more money. I prayed for promotions. I then prayed that our child support would be less with the birth of our baby and then it looked like the child support might end with the kids mom moving out of state. NONE of these things happened. In fact, Brady's dad stopped paying most of his child support! This whole summer I have just prayed what to do. Once I got an answer "Ye have given it no thought but to ask me". Yeah, that wasn't what I was hoping to hear. I thought and thought. I had a stupor of thought. I did not know what to do.

Notice how many times I said "I" in the above paragraph? That is cause I was managing the bills and dealing with the stress and not uttering a word of it to Ken. I was so sure that it would work out and there was no sense in two people worrying about it right? Wrong. The Lord wants us to work as partners (he told me). I told Ken how things were. I was tired of carrying it alone.

The next answer I got was a quote that many a wise man have said: Pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on you. So WE came to the conclusion that the van and it's payment need to go. It won't fit us after the next baby anyway. We have been looking at a Suburban or a large van. Neither gets great gas mileage but we kinda don't have a choice.

I applied to work at Weight Watchers. I am a lifetime member and I am within my goal range so I could work there. They have no openings at present so I figure I will keep looking for part time work. I have a paid training with WIC to train to become a breastfeeding peer councilor and that could lead to a job. I have considered a paper route and watching a child in my home. I have emailed various people about their child care ads on craigslist but none have panned out yet. Something will happen if working is what I need to do right now.

There was a small safety net account that I had prior to marrying Ken. It is the type that I had used to support myself in the early days after my divorce. I kept this small account and always looked on it as my escape hatch. If you have been though a divorce, you know, that there is a small part of you that always has a plan, just in case. So I had this small amount of money and it was only for an emergency, the kind I hope I never have to go through again. Ken suggested we use that money. It was very hard for me to decide but I am going to use my safety money. It will help in the mean time while I am working my hardest to make ends meet.

For so long I wasn't doing anything but praying. Now I am doing. We had a yard sale and made $236.00! I gave my elliptical to Play It Again Sports on consignment. That could net me another couple hundred bucks (and a cleaner garage). I am selling some of my used kids stuff and old kids movies at a consignment sale that is coming up. I probably will just spend the money I make on more kids stuff that we need, but that is ok too.

Interesting things to note: I thought I had nothing for Sara to wear in the 6-9 months clothing size and I was preparing to have to go shopping. I didn't know where the money for that was going to come from. I decided to get organized and I found things I had no idea I had. I prepared the boxes of stored things for 18 months and 2T and 3T. I have full wardrobes for Sara in those sizes, thanks to my sister and a dear friend in the ward. I have enough things for Sara to wear until the aforementioned sale happens. I will stock up on things to get us to 18 month size and I shouldn't have to spend and money. Such a miracle!

Kayla ripped out a pair of pants recently. The others in her drawer (except 2) were all the same size and clearly weren't going to work out once pants weather came back. I thought to myself, where am I going to get some pants? The thought came back: in my skinny clothes box where the two nice pair of size 6 Old Navy pants live. I may not see that size until after the next baby. It is sad for me to give them up, I do love them. Kayla needs them. Maybe I will get to buy more as a reward when I get to that size again. The way is not always easy. I would love to go buy some new ones for her. I can't right now, but at least there is a way.

I have scored tremendous deals by using coupons and hitting sales. I buy diapers for $2.49 a pack. I bought toilet paper for $1.99 for a pack of 12 double rolls (not prison grade paper either, it was Cottonelle). This week I got 14 packages of free cheese, 20 containers of free Cool Whip and 6 packs of free hot dogs. I do not pay more than .80 for packages of baby wipes.

Miraculously, our shelves, fridge and freezer seem to still have food and plenty of it. I still have a great cereal stash not as much as before but plenty. I was well stocked up on most household things from last year. It seems like every time I really need something there is a good sale and I am able to get it.

I have learned to get along without many things. I learned to make my own laundry soap, dishwasher soap and I have instructions on how to make wool dryer balls that are supposed to eliminate the need for dryer sheets (I am skeptical on this one). Did you know that you don't need to buy expensive plastic trash bags? I now get the paper sacks from my local grocery store and they fit right into my plastic trash bin. If I have to throw something away that is wet I put it in a plastic grocery sack first. I learned that vinegar works BETTER than Jet Dry in the dishwasher. I do not buy paper towels or paper plates. I have a recipe (thanks Mom) to make my own rice pilaf instead of using the box mix that is ever so handy.

I am lucky I have my own photographer too. Ken takes awesome pics of the whole family. He recently took some pics of my doula (childbirth assistant) in exchange for part of her fee for Sara's birth. Maybe some referrals might come out of that. He loves to take the pictures and he is really good. We don't know what to charge. Seems like when he has charged in the past he did the one photo shoot and that was it. I know things are tight all over but we hope somebody out there wants family pictures and would give him a try. What would you pay for two hours with your very own photographer that would take whatever pics you like, and give you a CD?

Anyway, I write this more for a record of how life is right now and a record of the way the the Lord is taking care of me. He has truly shown me the way. I have seen many miracles. Things that shouldn't have worked, have. Things that should have run/worn out long ago, are still plentiful and useful.

Many things are amazingly sweet in my life. I have a great family, everyone is healthy, we have a nice place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear. I have such happiness in motherhood right now. I adore my new little baby. I love being home. I love seeing the older kids grow and learn at school right now. I have many wonderful things to look forward to. I have peace in my life and in my heart. I have great friends.

So, I may be FAR from being wealthy, but I sure am rich.

Well the summer is over and the kids are in school...

Time to update the blog...

Several of my family members have been sad that I haven't posted pictures of Sara Jane in awhile. One even claims that they couldn't pick her out of a line-up. Come on, just pick the one that looks most like Ken and Bingo, that is my girl :)

So here are the pics starting with the oldest ones:

Sara Jane can sit up with out support, clap, giggle, roll over, army crawl, yell, go to sleep by herself and is working on sitting up from laying on the floor.

Sara eats 3 meals a day with plenty of nursing in between. Sara has a DEFINITE preference for mom or dad over anyone else. She screamed the house down at Grandmas when we dared leave her. As soon as she is in mommy or daddy's arms she is fine. She hates most everyone else. Sara loves meat and whatever we are eating. Sara loves the bath and the shower. She doesn't love the car seat.

Sara has 4 bottom teeth that sprouted (bottom right 6/17/10, bottom left 6/21/10, side bottom right 8/1/10, side bottom left 8/8/10). We anticipate the arrival of the top two front teeth soon.

In the past day or so Sara has taken to acting really funny when she sees someone she loves. She throws herself around with arms and legs and body back. She smiles big and makes noise so they come closer. When daddy comes home he must come to her or she gets really mad. If he comes and says hi and then walks down the hall she protests. She is really funny. Sara is really sweet and a joy to our whole family. We are sure happy she is our baby.

What I have done since...

Nine years ago today my sweet mother slipped out of this existence and now waits for me on the other side. I know she keeps tabs on everything I do but I thought I would make a list of times I really missed her:

September 11, 2001. I wanted us all to gather and be a family again. So many people died and I prayed that maybe you could go be with those who were trapped or dying and comfort them.

That first Christmas, it was so awkward and hollow, sorry Dad, but it was.

The following summer, my marriage was crumbling and I cried more that summer and fall than I ever had before or since. I separated from my husband and lived with Tee, I cried every day on the way to work. I sure missed you then.

When I found out I was pregnant with Brady, you were the one I wanted to call. I was so excited and scared all at once.

When I finally gave birth, I had no one to be my mom and come stay and help. No one to coach me through the hard times of breastfeeding and ear infections.

I would have loved to share the joy of being a new mom and quiz you about all I was going through.

I got divorced and moved three states away. I went to work full time and struggled to figure out who I was now.

I dated a few guys and then met Ken. Things were changing in my life and I missed your thoughts.

I moved to a town where I knew no one but Ken and became a newlywed stepmom of three, full time mom of one. I did things all wrong and I missed telling you all about it.

I got pregnant with my own little girl! She looks a little like you now and I sure wish you could meet her.

I went through the hardest birth experience imaginable, I hired a Doula to help me but I wish you had been there instead.

I have missed you many more times, almost daily in fact, the great and the tough times.

You did leave behind the best help for me, I have three of the most wonderful sisters on the planet. Every time I am missing you more than I can stand, I call one of them and things are better. I will be jealous if any of them get to see you first because I can't wait to sit on your lap and tell you all about my days while we were apart. You can stroke my hair and call me your Cindy Ree and tell me you love me.

See you soon mom!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

One last post before I head off to bed. (Multi Post Day)

Last month I received a package from Sandi (my step mom). Sometime ago she asked me for my favorite scriptures and I told her of a few that I loved. Some are really long. Some are verses to church hymns. Sandi (and I assume Heather too) crafted me this beautiful blanket that is filled with love. It has blocks with all my favorite scriptures carefully written out (they were so long, sorry!). Some of the blocks have messages from loving family members. The quilt is done with the soft pastel colors that I love. I refer to this quilt as my love quilt. It is really snuggly and was made with such care.

One of the keys to step families (I have found) is love and service for each other. Many times since I have married Ken I have been on my knees in prayer trying to find out how to bind our families. I have struggled with personalities (mine and theirs) and searched for ways to make it work. Loving someone is (should be) an action, it works so much better than just feeling it. It is also a constant thing to keep the family strong. Constant reassurance and constant service, many times without any thanks.

Thank you Sandi for loving me enough to make me this beautiful love quilt. I will treasure it.

Crossed... (Multi Post Day)

I should have known... This is out ultrasound pic of Sara's feet. I was just 12 weeks pregnant then. Look! Feet crossed at the ankles.



Lo and Behold! Sara prefers her feet this way. She does it all on her own.

I have been remiss in posting about my baby.

Here are some pics in no particular order.

Sara and Brady at snuggle time just before bed.

I cannot get enough of the cute face.

Such a pretty girl.

She likes to scratch her face with her nails that seem to grow out long every day.

We have been working on getting her to smile more. So far Ken has caught some pics of the smile but not me (yet). She also laughs, just not when the video camera comes out.

I am trying to give you a few angles so you can see her expressions. I don't want to forget a minute of this phase.

We think Sara is destined to have daddy's blue eyes. They are such a nice shade of blue.

She also has daddy's coloring.

In the car, Sara looks at this toy hanging from her car seat. She seems so fascinated.

Snuggling with Sebastian.

Patchy McBaldspot...

Sara was born with some hair. Unfortunately, some is falling out...




Here is a side shot of the patchiness that is going on.




Most days we accessorize with bows glued to Sara's head. That way people know she is a girl. Sometimes we wear that hat too. I think she looks cute with the hat!

Weight Watchers

As many of you know, I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. I have three months (six with a doctors note) to return to my goal weight after having a baby. If I am not back to goal I have to pay 9.00 a month till I get there.
I started attending my weekly meeting a week and a half ago. The first week I lost 4.6 lbs. This week I hope to lose 1 or 2. I have to eat often and more because I am nursing but things are going well so far. I have about 14 lbs left to lose. I would love to have half of that gone before we have the baby blessing the last Sunday in March.
I love the Weight Watchers plan because it is real. Real food, portions I control and flexible enough to allow treats.
This time at WW is special to me. My three sisters are all attending WW with me in their towns. I get inspired by their progress and I get to share my losses with others who are in the same boat. My parents are also losing weight. I read a couple of blogs of women who are doing it too. I love watching the tv show The Biggest Loser. Seeing others success helps me feel like I can do it.
I would like to be motivational for others. I don't have lots of weight to lose but I have to put forth the same effort for each pound. I have to be inventive with cooking and eating out. I will try to post some things that have helped me lose.
I want to be healthy and feel good. I want the same for you. I don't want anyone I know to have to deal with the consequences of being overweight. The most painful death to hear about is the one that could have been avoided. I want my family around for years to come. Please keep losing so we can all be at family events when we are old and grey. I will bring the soda pop cake and light ice cream.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sara Jane

One month ago today our little girl was born. She is perfect. In the month since, I have been so happy! She is such a good baby. She sleeps and I am getting enough sleep. She nurses PERFECTLY! I had such a hard time trying to nurse Brady and it has been a night/day difference with Sara. I know what I am doing and my body is doing all that it should. Sara is picking up weight better than average.

I am so happy and I appreciate motherhood so much more. I am older and wiser and a bit more experienced this time around. Sara and I are starting to figure out a schedule that works for her. Yesterday she stayed awake for longer than she had so far. She also noticed the mobile on her swing and she stared at it for several minutes.

The birth I had been planning for did not happen. Instead we had a cesarean section and I have to admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. At the time I made the decision to have it, I did not care about how it would be, I was just ready to be done.

My water broke at 10 in the morning on the 16th. We had all the kids and we got them ready to spend the next couple of days (and longer for Brady) with Grandma and Grandpa Wilcox. I cleaned up some around the house and baked some brownies for my labor and delivery nurse. I was not having any signs of labor and thought that things would pick up later in the day. We finally decided to go to the hospital at 4 in the afternoon.

Upon arriving and the hospital we learned that I was at a 5. We were excited and thought things would get going soon. We up to our room and tried to get things going. We tried all ideas to get labor going but nothing happened. After midnight my doctor called and the call did not go well. Our conversation consisted of her being quite abusive and mean. She wanted me to start a labor inducing drug. I was a bit hesitant to do so. She called my parenting skills into question and let me know whatever I decided that she would overrule me and that I could be killing my baby if we did things my way. I was very upset and after talking to Ken and my Doula, I fired my doctor.

So here I was, in the hospital without a doctor, labor or a plan. I did begin the drug that every medical person thought I needed to be on. Apparently if you are term and your water has broken they want that baby out in 24 hours or less. No exceptions. Sara was not ready yet. I was on the drug at ever increasing doses until 1 pm on the 17th. When it hit it hit like a ton of bricks. I went from a 6 to a 10 in less than a half an hour. I pushed for 3 1/2 hours trying to get Sara out. The pain was unimaginable. All my preparation had not given me enough knowledge or tools to help me though this kind of labor. I think the drug made labor much more intense than it would have been had my body been doing what it should.

Sara was born at 5:29pm. Ken was not allowed in to witness her birth because on top of all that had gone wrong, my spinal did not take full effect and I had to have full anesthesia. This is Daddy and his girl meeting each other.

Here I am, fighting my way back to consciousness and meeting my little girl. I was exhausted and drugged and I was supposed to nurse as soon as I could. Fortunately, Sara knew just what to do. It felt like she was not really mine because one minute I was pregnant and the next thing I know they are handing me a baby and telling me she is mine. I was not aware of things when she was born and that has been hard. The doctor that stepped in to deliver me was great. She was a complete professional and did a great job on the surgery. I found out later that she is friends with the doctor I fired.

There are things that I wish were different with the birth but I feel like the last month has more than made up for it. Things could not be going better for Sara and I.

It has been great to see a different side of Ken. He is completely smitten with her. The kids are very sweet and everyone wants to hold her and take care of her. Sara is such a joy and a wonderful addition to our family. I can't believe that she has been here a month! Last Sunday was her first day at church. Sara wore a sweet little red and white dress, perfect for Valentines day. It was also our first outing as a family. I felt such happiness sitting together on the pew.

I have felt more like a family with Sara being here. Ken and I are working together like never before. I have had so much help from my dear mother in law. She has been perfect and has helped me so much. Ladies in my ward brought food over after we had a week of meals from Ken's mom. I didn't have to cook for almost 2 weeks! I am so pleased with how things are going. Life being what it is, I have other things to deal with. If I had choices on how my life goes I would not change things. The trials help you to appreciate the sweet times. Things right now are very sweet! :)